A friend gave me the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" about 5 years ago & after reading the first chapter I threw it aside thinking it was boring. I didn't really get what the rave was about this book. We just moved into our new house & as I was unpacking this book, I decided to start reading it again from where I left off five years ago. I LOVE IT! This book has a million ways to show even someone with a good life how to more fully live it. This book is about an old man dying & everything he has learned about living life. I only let myself read a chapter or two a day so I can work on that day's lesson. It makes me excited for my next human interaction so I can make the best of every conversation & get out there and make more of my life & live every day with a passion. This is a long exerpt from the book, but I read it yesterday & I really liked it. The chapter is called "The sixth Tuesday we talk about emotions" and Morrie is teaching Mitch to "detach" himself:
Mitch asks: "Aren't you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?... well, how can you do that if you're detached?"
Morrie: "Ah. You're thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."
Mitch: "I'm lost."
Morrie: Take any emotion-- love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions---- if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--- you can never get to being detached, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completetly. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I reconize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.' .... I know you think this is just about dying," he said, "but it's like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."....
(Mitch writing again): I thought about how often we need to detach in every day life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a parnter but we don't say anything because we're frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship. Morrie's approach as exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "allright, it's just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is." Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely--but eventually be able to say, "All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I'm going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I'm goin to experience them as well."
"Detach," Morried said again.
I loved that I read this because when Vic got home from another late night at work yesterday, despite my sore throat, I felt hyper-silly. Only a few close people know this side of me as I'm always afraid to share it with others as I get a bit insano, but after reading this chapter, I thought to myself "I don't care if Vic is tired, I'm hyper & I want to "experience" the emotion"... and well, it surprised Vic (a little, I don't think he's every surprised by my random moods!)... anyway, I don't know if it rubbed off on him much, but it made my night ten times better so I'm glad I did it! Live life & HAVE FUN! Above all, don't worry about what others will think. Otherwise we'd all go through life trying to act like a professional, which really is boring!!! ...just don't forget to mind your manners :)hehe, anyway, after I finish this book, I can't wait to start over again!